My posts here have been few and far between. I just haven't gotten into the mood for blogging. Like every single blog I have ever had, since LiveJournal in high school to the MySpace, I have deleted every blog. I say what I need to say and then I have this need to move on with my life.

My stress levels have been ever-present, but I am handling them better. I'm writing a little stressed out right now, but I am making changes to behavior that is going to make me successful in my weight loss journey. I have added routines like power naps at work, naps at home, and what the Weight Watchers program likes to refer to as "activity".

Yesterday, in the midst of finishing up this application for a stipend I have applied for, I realized that time was running short and that my local coffee shop was going to close in thirty minutes. I put on my running shoes and walked there and back - in the dangerous streets of Salinas' white and safe side. I got a thirty minute walk in and also got my dairy intake for the day.

I finished twelve weeks on weight watchers. I have lost 32.4 pounds and am doing it slowly. I still indulge, but I am also trying to get exercise in. Last week, due to school work I had to do, I didn't get any activity in. I made sure my gym bag was packed today before heading to work, with the intention of getting on that g-ddamn elliptical for an hour after I finish here.

I'm feeling relatively well, considering everything. With school, I am almost caught up and where I need to be. Work... is work. Handling the stress as best as I can here.

Man, bananas are pretty tasty.

Dees Juan Tine

I've been going at this, slowly, for the last 11.5 weeks. I'm on week 12 of Weight Watchers and after having lost 32 pounds, I gained one back on Monday's weigh in. I'm just taking it slow, taking it easy. This one lady I admire once said, "inch by inch, life's a synch!" I'm trying to take it down to that level.

The eating. I eat the same foods every day. I have an egg, two egg whites, two english muffins, 2 TBS of ketchup, and coffee (with 4 TBS of 1/2 and 1/2 and 1 TBS of sugar). For dinner, it's usually a salad with my favorite 2 tablespoon dressing and asian dumplings (1 point each), fried in olive oil. Being that I'm a big mang, I get 42 points per day. I went down by two points since starting this thing. In between the two meals, I try to mix in variety.

I'm trying to maintain my stress. Lucky for me at work, we have a therapy room with a couch. I took a power nap in there and it helped me out immensely. I'm worried about grad school and how I'm going to pay for it. I am waiting for my financial aid package to come, which should take (hopefully) three more weeks. I'm also waiting for my tax return from Uncle Sam and Uncle Arnie... trying to figure how to allocate that between savings for this move with my girlfriend and the NEVERENDING FUCKING CREDIT CARD DEBT THAT WILL EVENTUALLY TAKE LIFE AND MURDER THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF MY LIFE, DREAMS, SAVINGS, and CREDIT SCORE.

The future is uncertain, but it's where I'm putting my better days. Inch by inch, I'll get there.

Also, if anyone is interested in six inches, please inquire with management of this blog :P

Goal 1: Check

I got under 300 lbs. Yay!

I hope I don't die from heatstroke.

All Kinds of New Stress

I got into grad school :) While I'm very happy about this, it's only a
matter of time before the wheels come off this motherfucker.

I don't handle stress appropriately.

P.S. I am 27.2 lbs down after 10 weeks. Stoked about that.

The Gorge

At zero points, I binged tonight:
- Cookie (3)
- McDonalds Ice Cream Cone (3)
- Red Wine - 1/2 Cup (1.5)
- Beer - 24 oz (6)
- Carrot Sticks and Hummus (4)

It was all good. Still gots 10.5 Weekly Points left.

Quick Update

So an update for me, since I'm the only one that reads this thing and will probably delete this blog eventually.

Since starting back a few weeks ago (Feb 9, 2009), I have lost 20.8 pounds. I believe. I could be wrong and I don't have my paperwork in front of me. It's definately 20 pounds with a decimal afterwards.

Right now, I'm at zero points. Prior to my last item of intake, I had 3.5 points left and that's how much one measured cup of red wine is worth on the WW. So I'm fucking content and sleepy, which is good because being awake means that I will eventually eat.

Bean Sprouts for Midnight Snack

I'm stressing out right now. I am in the midst of hiring a lawyer... total white people status. Without getting too much into detail, I was wronged and I'm trying to get fairly compensated. Those little fucking cockroach insurance companies... I hope they all go bankrupt after I'm through with them.

Anyways, my stress level correlates with my eating behavior, typically. I have this stressor plus my car is fucking up. While I'm way above income-level for a single man (I should be making more money), I don't have much to show for it except for 3 iPods and a laptop. I don't have a car payment, thank God. My car is fucking up right now. Something about a hose leaking fluid from my radiator. My dad came down with my uncle and they tried to fix it. I'll see tomorrow the end result of their efforts.

I rocked the gym on Monday... I did a high intensity workout on the elliptical because it's easier on my back. Well, it's supposed to be easier, but my back was fucking killing the shit out of me. I hope that this pain gets better because I can't do painkillers for the rest of my life and I don't smoke pot.

With my dad helping me out, I went over. He took me and my uncle to Denny's and I adhered to my Weight Watchers as diligently as I could. I believe my meal was like 18 points. Add to that a Snickers bar (7!? points) and a soy latte (I thought was supposed to have 3 points, but it turned out to be 5... WTF!?). It's all good. I got off track a little and I went over by 3.5 points (so far) for my day (still Thursday).

So I'm eating bean sprouts. A whole cup for 0 points. I'm feeling less-hungry, too.

I need to focus on eating all my veggies. Fuck me in the ass.

Rocking the WW

My favorite treat is ice cream. McDonalds vanilla cone or low-fat ice cream. Was feeling hungry so I just nommed on a skinny-cow ice cream sandwich. It was delicious. Have been kicking ass on the Weight Watchers. I'm on week 4 with three months before the June... I have lost 15.8 pounds and I am going full-speed ahead. The weight loss is slow but speeding :P

My clothes feel looser... significantly. I am about 16.3 pounds away from my first goal of getting my ass under 300 lbs. I'll get there. I want to get there sooner than later, but it took me a while to puff up when I gained all my weight back. I am being more active, especially with utilizing my gym membership. Gym changed venues because 24-Hour Shitness decided not to continue their franchise in Salinas and a newer, better, gym took over my contract. Very very nice. Can't wait till they get their jacuzzi installed.

The one mantra that I'm living by is that I gotta burn more calories than I ingest. I'm really trying my ass off. That whole thing they talk about at the WW meetings, as far as mentally rehearsing, is what is working for me. Today, someone bought Round Table Pizza for lunch and I ate only one slice (at 8 points) with a salad to fill me up. I ate out at this work-related dinner and made sure to fill up half my plate with the steamed greens and salad, while also being mindful of my portions. I was able to tally things up right and I'm not regretful for my eating behaviors.

Just a quick note: I've given up posting my deepest thoughts on the internet... blocked or not, I am afraid that they will come back and bite me in the ass. The closest thing I got going is micro-blogging, which I am good at instantaneously lamenting my disdain.

I am in love with my girlfriend. She is a huge motivator for me. I want to look good for her, make her look good, and be healthy so that I can enjoy my time with her. She is a sweetheart and I know she loves me. I can't wait to move in with her, though I have my fears. We still have a lot of things to work out before I am fully set on making her my betrothed. While my girlfriend is not a Christian, thus not sharing my faith, she is also not a whore or hypocrite. I'll take that straight to the bank.

My mood is good. Getting organized and losing the weight is definitely going to affect my happiness... positively affecting it. That's really, all I want.

Busy Saturday

So today, I'm trying to do the following:

- Laundry

- Study for two hours

- Pack an overnight bag

- Figure out my Points for today

- la la la la la

For it being a Saturday, start of a 3-day weekend, I'm a little overwhelmed... it's okay. Unofficially, I have lost eight pounds since Monday.

I have a reservation for dinner tonight with my lady at this place that's going to cost a lot. It's no bother for me because I love her to pieces.

I'm surprised how well I'm doing with the new Weight Watchers Momentum plan. It's working for me really well. They have this little chart in the booklet that tracks your hunger level (y-axis) and time (y-axis), which means everything I log, I also track the time I do. I have exercised (brisk walking) 3 times this week and I am getting ready to go out in a little bit for my fourth walk. Yesterday was the first time I used my Weekly points, having gone over by three on my Daily points for Friday.

I mapped out my eating for today. I have 32 Weekly points to use for today (and tomorrow) if I need them. I'm just trying to eat light (soup, veggies, coffee, coffee, eggs) up until the feast tonight. I'm not sure whether I want the barbeque chicken or a steak (www.rocky-point.com).

Right now, I'm hungry so I am thinking about going to make some eggs, toast an english muffin, get the salsa ready, and make some coffee.

Short Sentences That Should Help You Get The Jist

I restarted the Weight Watchers.
Why? I am fearful of the diabeetus.
I am paying for it.
I like their new program.
I ate all but two points today.
I didn't work out today like the last three.
I did get physical.
I love food.
I'm proud for tracking all my points.
I just saw a mini Burger King commercial.
Want to nom.

Posted with LifeCast